Many people read one or two or fifteen self-help books before seeking therapy. And why not? Your friend tells you about Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents or Atomic Habits, and you decide to give it a try. I think some of these books can be helpful, but often they create a sense of optimism for a short period and then they find their way to the bottom of the book pile.
I became aware of Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents because a handful of patients brought it up. It seemed to strike a chord, and on a couple of occasions, it was a great starting point for discussing parent-child relationships. So, if there are some helpful books, why see a therapist?
I think a book can be a great supplement to therapy, but it’s not the same thing as therapy. When you don’t follow through on the suggestions in Atomic Habits, it sits passively on your bookshelf. On the other hand, when you are meeting with a therapist each week, you have a partner who can help you figure out what’s blocking your motivation. You can strategize about how to tackle these obstacles. Being accountable to another person often improves follow through, and on an emotional level, it is energizing to have someone in your corner. My ultimate goal, as your therapist, is to help you get to a place where you can take action on your own.
Zalisa Rabin, LCSW-R provides psychotherapy for depression and anxiety in-person in New York City and via telehealth throughout NY state.